Chasing Photographs

Photo by Shawn Nee / discarted

It’s hard to remember this day, but it was sometime during the summer when it was still cold.

For the most part, I had been wasting my days in Hollywood photographing my friends that lived on the streets or in their cars. What had started as a documentary project about three years ago had turned into a lifestyle. And around mid-day, if you were looking for me, I could most likely be found at a friend’s van, overlooking the 101 Freeway.  Each day we’d cook a little bit of food on his propane burner and watch the rush-hour traffic pass below us, bullshitting about whatever helped pass the time. My friend is a skilled tinkerer and obsessed with cars, so the conversation would often involve him describing in great detail what he would do to fix up some shitty box-car like the Toyota Scion if he ever had some money.  I took a strange pride in pointing out his favorite cars before he had a chance to find them among the hundreds crawling below us.

Then Meg showed up.

Before then, I had never talked to Meg, but I would catch glimpses of her as she wandered Sunset Boulevard. I learned quickly that she was someone you wanted to be around because you knew something was going to happen. But then she would ditch you for the next random thought that burned through her head.

Throughout the summer, I would occasionally see her walking alone in the distance glancing at cars here and there as they crept by her—their break lights abruptly turning red and then blacking out as the car drove away.  One day, I saw her walking with some black guy I had never seen before. I asked around about him, but nobody knew who he was. Shortly after that, Meg disappeared. And as the weeks dragged on, rumors spread that she was clean. But people say all kinds of things out here, and you learn not to believe anything until you see it for yourself.  Since the only way anybody leaves this neighborhood is by going to jail or dying—and jail is only a temporary, yet cyclical, vacation.

Being attracted to the girls on the street who consist solely on meth and crack, is admittedly, a peculiar feeling that can’t be explained or understood.

It’s a habit that creates an oily, crumbling abyss that destroys smiles which most parents tried to perfect when these women were still just little girls.  With meth, open sores will often appear on the body, as tiny drops of yellowish liquid percolate through dime-sized scabs dotting the face.  And with crack, all it takes is a five-minute hand job or a dollar for some “short change” in order to see the “crack man dance.”

On the other hand, meth combined with the limited consumption of food will also often transform the female body into an architectural and biological phenomenon that would make Aphrodite jealous, and cause some men to digress.

I would describe the sensation of flirting with these impulses as similar to holding a rattlesnake or a loaded gun, or poking a black widow with your index finger in a way that actually pisses the thing off, so it wants to bite you. The rush of adrenaline and energy that stampedes through the body while your mind wrestles with every possible “what if” is insatiable. It’s addictive and no matter what you do after that, you’re always chasing that feeling and the roar of that shutter clicking.

14 Responses to “Chasing Photographs”


  1. 1 Pure Yacon June 14, 2014 at 1:34 am

    Valuable information. Fortunate me I discovered
    your site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident didn’t took place earlier!
    I bookmarked it.

  2. 2 how to get psn code generator June 14, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    Nonetheless, for purchasing over the internet, one expectations
    to have a Pay – Pal account or a credit card. Pros: Along with a slimmer, sleek design; the new version of Sony’s Play
    – Station 3 is more energy efficient and comes with a
    considerable price reduction. Each time you press the button, the Philips universal remote
    tries a new code.

  3. 3 www.b-1association.org June 16, 2014 at 7:20 am

    Hi excellent website! Does running a blog like this require a
    great deal of work? I have virtually no understanding
    of coding but I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future.
    Anyways, if you have any ideas or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I understand this is off topic however I just had to ask.

    Kudos!

  4. 4 free instagram followers fast June 17, 2014 at 4:25 am

    We’re a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand neww scheme in our community.
    Your website offered uus ԝith useful info to ѡork on. You’ve done a foprmidable job ɑnd our entire community shalll bbe thankful tߋ you.

  5. 5 Tooth Extraction Cost June 17, 2014 at 4:30 am

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in reality was once a entertainment account
    it. Glance advanced to more delivered agreeable from you!
    However, how could we keep in touch?

  6. 6 sex July 5, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Spectacular web-site. Loads of beneficial information right here. We’re giving the idea to several friends ans likewise revealing around scrumptious. As well as, thank you as part of your energy!

  7. 7 Pro Tow Towing software and Pro Repo repo software July 8, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    But one of the trends in San Francisco nowadays is the Speed
    Dating. ” Do keep receipts and bills of all expenses incurred in the accident to be presented to your insurer. Taking a look at the 2013 Venza, the improved line-up of standard features should enhance the customer value perception of the Venza as they look at several brand choices in the fairly crowded mid-size crossover market.

  8. 8 in cars July 18, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Very shortly this web site will be famous among all blogging and site-building viewers,
    due to it’s fastidious articles or reviews

  9. 9 generateur playstation plus September 26, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    It’s the best time to make some plans for the future
    and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some
    interesting things or advice. Perhaps you
    could write next articles referring to this article.

    I wish to read even more things about it!

  10. 10 best site to buy real instagram followers October 6, 2014 at 7:00 am

    Hello I am so grateful I found your blog, I really found you by error,
    while I was browsing on Bing for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like
    to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable
    blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over
    it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds,
    so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the
    great jo.


  1. 1 fun run hack Trackback on May 29, 2014 at 12:40 am
  2. 2 serwerekrpk.cityhost.pl Trackback on June 7, 2014 at 3:49 am
  3. 3 suresh babu gaddam Trackback on June 16, 2014 at 7:07 am
  4. 4 Joseph Pantel Trackback on October 1, 2014 at 1:12 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s





Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 108 other followers

%d bloggers like this: